Lets pretend you can be taken back to your old days. The days when you were innocent and had no clue what life is about. The days when playing with mud was cool and joyful and simply fun. The days when the famous music track was the ABC and the best movie ever was The Sound of Music. The days when you can’t wait for the next morning to come and jump out of bed to get ready for a bright beginning. The days when you were a KID nothing more is expected from you but being that KID...
Lets pretend that you can go back to your childhood. Go back to the tree climbing, fingers sucking, torn socks, play grounds and coloring pencils.
Me, in those days I really believed that I could turn into a colored butterfly. that my tinny skinny body will transform into this thing that will just fly and see the world. As long as my wings were colored I didn’t mind the size. then I realized in order for me to get as far as I want to go I needed to be faster then a butterfly so I would most probably turn into a falcon. An Arabic Desert falcon.
I was very innocent that I thought that I will always remain a KID. I followed my sisters everywhere. One of my sisters in particular. I think I found her (interesting). She was annoyed rather than happy to my useless companionship. I asked too many unwanted questions out of curiosity, and sometimes just to prove my being. With the answers, I got my wisdom. I don’t think that she knew that she was rising a KID, her being a kid her self. My sister did me a great favor.
Through out the years that annoying tagalong relation turned into attachment. Not only side to side attachment but even mind and thoughts attachment. We spoke the same, laughed the same sounded the same looked the same, walked the same, even had the same likes and dislikes. Together we were unstoppable. We had each others secrets, backs, support, comfort but most of all, we had each other when ever we needed someone to talk to, fight with, express without being judged. We knew no matter what was said or done separation was not an option. It wasn’t even in our category. we were there for each others souls if not bodies. Minds if not connected.
she enjoyed me singing for her. She always though that I had this amazing voice which moves her emotions and gathers her tears to the edge of her eyes. I enjoyed her stories the most, she could tell me the same story about what happened to her once twice and three time without her realizing how many time she repeated that same story to me again and again. We always had something to do together. After all the years that we were stuck into each other, we found our companionship still interesting and full of life laughter and sometimes tears.
My sister and I always know that we were soul mates. we planned this life together. after we grow old and useless. where will we live, where we will travel. Who will take the master bedroom when our small house with green garden is ready. What will happen then, to our cars, kids and us. Our lives were planned to the maximum that we forgot that we don’t really belong here. We don’t really live here, we are just passing through. There is no planning for the future while on earth. There is alway an ending and she was taken in the time were I never had imagined. No sickness, no accident, no hospitals, no operations, no medicine not even age was involved. My sister passed away. and I was once again, left alone and LOST...
I lived my childhood unknowing that my path will be the hardest. I lived it not prepared for these days. I live it with my partner in life with my sister with the one who loved me the most and cherished the time we spent together. I lived my life with my teacher, my friend, my family and my mother. She was all of those I swear she was.
So once again, If you can be taken back to your past where would you choose. I would definitely choose a day on the beach with my sister, holding hands, singing, laughing playing with the sand and not thinking about anything (but us)....
May your soul rest in peace ... with LOVE your annoying sister
