Wednesday, April 25, 2012


Lets pretend you can be taken back to your old days. The days when you were innocent and had no clue what life is about. The days when playing with mud was cool and joyful and simply fun. The days when the famous music track was the ABC and the best movie ever was The Sound of Music. The days when you can’t wait for the next morning to come and jump out of bed to get ready for a bright beginning. The days when you were a KID nothing more is expected from you but being that KID...

Lets pretend that you can go back to your childhood. Go back to the tree climbing, fingers sucking, torn socks, play grounds and coloring pencils. 
Me, in those days I really believed that I could turn into a colored butterfly. that my tinny skinny body will transform into this thing that will just fly and see the world. As long as my wings were colored I didn’t mind the size. then I realized in order for me to get as far as I want to go I needed to be faster then a butterfly so I would most probably turn into a falcon. An Arabic Desert falcon. 
I was very innocent that I thought that I will always remain a KID. I followed my sisters everywhere. One of my sisters in particular. I think I found her (interesting). She was annoyed rather than happy to my useless companionship. I asked too many unwanted questions out of curiosity, and sometimes just to prove my being. With the answers, I got my wisdom. I don’t think that she knew that she was rising a KID, her being a kid her self. My sister did me a great favor. 
Through out the years that annoying tagalong relation turned into attachment. Not only side to side attachment but even mind and thoughts attachment. We spoke the same, laughed the same sounded the same looked the same, walked the same, even had the same likes and dislikes. Together we were unstoppable. We had each others secrets, backs, support, comfort but most of all, we had each other when ever we needed someone to talk to, fight with, express without being judged. We knew no matter what was said or done separation was not an option. It wasn’t even in our category. we were there for each others souls if not bodies. Minds if not connected.  
she enjoyed me singing for her. She always though that I had this amazing voice which moves her emotions and gathers her tears to the edge of her eyes. I enjoyed her stories the most, she could tell me the same story about what happened to her once twice and three time without her realizing how many time she repeated that same story to me again and again. We always had something to do together. After all the years that we were stuck into each other, we found our companionship still interesting and full of life laughter and sometimes tears. 
My sister and I always know that we were soul mates. we planned this life together. after we grow old and useless. where will we live, where we will travel. Who will take the master bedroom when our small house with green garden is ready. What will happen then, to our cars, kids and us. Our lives were planned to the maximum that we forgot that we don’t really belong here. We don’t really live here, we are just passing through. There is no planning for the future while on earth. There is alway an ending and she was taken in the time were I never had imagined. No sickness, no accident, no hospitals, no operations, no medicine not even age was involved. My sister passed away. and I was once again, left alone and LOST...
I lived my childhood unknowing that my path will be the hardest. I lived it not prepared for these days. I live it with my partner in life with my sister with the one who loved me the most and cherished the time we spent together. I lived my life with my teacher, my friend, my family and my mother. She was all of those I swear she was. 
So once again, If you can be taken back to your past where would you choose. I would definitely choose a day on the beach with my sister, holding hands, singing, laughing playing with the sand and not thinking about anything (but us).... 
May your soul rest in peace ... with LOVE your annoying sister 

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Ways of HEALING...

Everyone has his own way of healing... Some heal faster than the other, some hide the damages made and intend to move on. Some of us never forget and seek their revenges. But I’ll tell you today what my way is

I COOK.... 

Yes, honestly it did me very well. I cook, with love and passion. I give the dish my ALL. time, feeling and dedicate to a perfect tasteful meal for my family or sometimes friends.

You might think that I am joking or being sarcastic (as usual) but NOT THIS TIME  :)

See, healing needs time. Needs mind off the cause of damage. Needs to put out your best side and give others to get peace of mind and some satisfaction. If you loose your self in any way you might find it in the slightest smallest thing you do. like cooking... 

everyday I intend to get damaged, and everyday I look for a new recipe which will start from the tung. Hmmmmm what do I feel like tasting today? Is it hot and spicy chicken? Chinese Manchurian? Stake ribeye? Fish in coconut cream? or tacos? Indian? American? Asian? or even sweets :) 

So I choose my healing dish and I start getting recipes from friends, cooking books or even the internet. I go grocery shopping for fresh tomatoes, green leafs, going through the ally of the market looking, seeking and finding the missing puzzle of my healing dish.... then I head home. Put my best T-shirt on. wash my hands and start cutting up and cooking, turning and tasting with lots of love and joy. more salt, less lime. More color and at the time the dish is being prepared I think to my self: (who ever tried to damage me, look where I am now. I am in joy. I am giving out my best. I am cooking I AM Healing). 

Preparing the dish is like preparing your self to look at another angle of your life. If you, in your mind, determine that life is not about one thing which happened or one person who will switch your mood on and off whenever he/she desire. Then and only then, you have your own healing method. 

Living your life shouldn't always be about achieving or meeting your goals. to some people, living your life is simply about passing your day with joy, calmness and among the people that you love. Laughing on a dinner table describing your day and sharing your thoughts with them is more than enough for me. Satisfaction is achievable we just need to believe in our selves and COOK... :)

Happy day every one and enjoy the small things in life with acceptance 

Monday, February 20, 2012

Me, My self and I

Recently, observing my driving skills, I have noticed that my life could simply be called A MESS.

I malty task like crazy forgetting the fact that I am only HUMAN and this can fire back at me at any time (which it already did that’s why I’m writing about it)…

On my way to work the radio was on (BU OMAR morning show) concentrating on the topic UAE is giving more than 1700 Emirates pass port to the non locals "not my issue here", while doing that I was eating my breakfast in the car, drinking hot tea after every bite of my sandwich. Reading my morning prayers, deciding which road I should take and still listening to the radio turned high on DON’T FORGET “I’M DRIVING”…

To me, this is the least of malty tasking I do. “You should see me at home” TV has to be on, I can’t take the silence of the rooms, reading or writing something while my mind is on (how in the hell can I pay my March bills) while my hands are moving I’m thinking if I should apply a nail polish or leave them as they are. While this thought is in my mind I already left the book heading to the nail polish box and picking up a color. Off course all this is being done while I’m on the phone with a friend who I’m trying to solve her problems with her hubby who doesn’t want to travel this summer because of the high expenses.

This was just a simple sample of a ten minutes of my life, you can imagine the 24 hours DISCLUDING my sleeping hours (I sleep like a baby) alhamdullelah

I’m starting forgetting things EASELY.

Where are my keys?

I know that person but can’t recall the name

What did I come here for?

My Goodness missed that road

Why am I in the supermarket?

Which meeting? With who? When? Why?

I’m hungry and I have a snack in my drawer, I’ll go and order

I need to print and I have papers on my desk, I’ll go to stationery room

I swear one time I was in my car with toilet sandals, forgot to take them off…

Do you really want me to go one…? Uhhh BuGGer

The thing is my brain is so used of not keeping it simple, it has all those unnecessary thoughts that takes too much space. I am not focusing on one thing. I am every where all the time. If I close my eyes in this moment I can literally see my thoughts flying all around
I was reading my blog, and I notice that there are many unfinished blogs that I intend to leave them that way cause once that publish button is pressed there is another thought replacing my mind…

Leave to here every one, catch up with you soon I REALLY HOPE. And wish me LUCK